60 Candy Puns That Are a Real Life Saver

Just when you thought candy couldn’t get any better, it sweetens your day by filling it with laughter. When the (chocolate) chips are down, you may turn to cookie puns for chuckles—but we’re not fudging: These candy puns will have you Rolo-ing. They’re perfect for Instagram captions and holiday greetings, or break them out at Halloween to get all the ghosts guffawing.

If your sweet tooth demands more after all these candy puns, try these Mounds of ice cream puns to make you melt into giggles. Ahead, we’re unwrapping the sweetest wordplay around—get ready for 60 candy puns that are a real treat.

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Sweet puns

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• You can teach an old dog new Twix.

• Donut give up!

• I think I have a pretty mallow personality.

• Yes you candy!

• There’s no sugarcoating it: You’re just a backsweet driver.

• Don’t jump the gum.

• You’re the opposite of a Dud.

• That really mint a lot to me.

• You cane do it!

• I can’t Reese-ist you!

Candy jokes

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• What do you call a sheep covered in sugar?
  A candy baa.

• Why did the M&M go to college?
  He wanted to be a Smartie.

• What bear has no teeth?
  A gummy bear.
  

• What country does candy come from?
  Sweeten.

• What do you drink when you don’t want something strong?
  Liquor-ish.

• What is a leopard’s favorite candy?
  Dots.

• What group of people have a candy named after them?
  Nerds.

• What kind of candy goes best on the Christmas tree?
  Ornamints.

• I had a lollipop joke, but I forgot it.
  It’s on the tip of my tongue.

• Who’s in charge of candy corn?
  The kernel.

• What’s a robot’s favorite candy?
  Wall-E pop.

• What kind of glasses do gingerbread men wear?
  Eye candy.

• What two letters spell candy?
  C and Y!

Chocolate puns

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• I knew you were truffle when you walked in.

• Sorry I’m choco-late.

• Whenever I try to eat healthy, a chocolate bar looks at me and Snickers.

• How do you turn white chocolate into dark chocolate? Turn off the lights.

• I really prefer the chocolate they sell at the airport: plane chocolate.

• To me, you’re like M&Ms: marvelous and magnificent.

• This candy bar is a real home run. It’s a Baby Ruth.

• A girl’s favorite candy? Her-she’s Kisses.

• Wake me up before you cocoa.

• I saw a chocolate car today—it must’ve been a Ferrari Rocher.

Skittle puns

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• Thank you for showing your true colors.

• Just a Skittle something to sweeten your day.

• I like to eat candy while I read. My favorite is Skittle House on the Prairie.

• What do you get when you cross candy with pizza? Skittle Caesars.

• Crazy Skittle thing called love.

• With a Skittle help from my friends.

• Have yourself a Merry Skittle Christmas.

• My favorite musical is the Skittle Shop of Horrors.

• Stuck in the Skittle with you.

• I like a little Skittle of the night snack.

Candy bar sayings

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• I know someone who collects candy canes. They’re all in mint condition.

• I’m trying to get over my chocolate, nuts and marshmallows addiction. It’s been a Rocky Road.

• Put your money behind bars: Invest in chocolate.

• You always help me out in a Crunch.

• Candy prices have really skyrocketed lately. Must be the Tic Tax!

• What candy does Winnie the Pooh hand out on Halloween? Bit o’ Honey.

• You’re my Kinder person.

• I have a confection to make.

• Don’t be such a Sour Patch kid.

• You’re choc-full of fun!

Kit Kat puns

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• What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? A Kitty Kat bar.

• I asked my friend for one of their Kit Kat fingers, but they accidentally dropped it. Butterfingers!

• Someone accused me of stealing their Kit Kat. Give me a break.

• What should you do with a Kit Kat bar? Put it in your meowth.

• Two wafers fell into a vat of chocolate. The first one pulled the second one out. The second one said, “Thanks, you’re a lifesaver!” The first one said, “Actually, I’m a Kit Kat.”

• What’s a veterinarian’s favorite candy bar? Kit Kat!

• Yesterday, I stole half of my friend’s Kit Kat. Today, they returned the favor—guess it was Kit for Kat.

Had your fill of sticky-sweet candy puns? Get your vitamins with a healthy dose of vegetable puns to keep your funny bone in good shape.

Why trust us

Reader’s Digest has been telling jokes for more than 100 years, curated and reviewed over the last 20 years by Senior Features Editor Andy Simmons, a humor editor formerly of National Lampoon and the author of Now That’s Funny. We’ve earned prestigious ASME awards for our humor—including comical quips, pranks, puns, cartoons, one-liners, knock-knock jokes, riddles, memes, tweets and stories in laugh-out-loud magazine columns such as “Life in These United States,” “All in a Day’s Work,” “Laughter, the Best Medicine” and “Humor in Uniform,” as well as online collections such as short jokes, dad jokes and bad jokes so bad, they’re great. You can find a century of humor in our 2022 compendium, Reader’s Digest: Laughter, the Best Medicine. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

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