It probably hasn’t been too long since you last came across a form that left you stumped: In the face of Ms. vs. Mrs. vs. Miss, which is the right fit?

These honorifics have a place in both formal and informal settings and are about more than just good grammar. They’re also about women’s history and identity.

That’s a big job for a set of small words. So let’s explore what these words mean, what their origins are and how to use them correctly in the right context. Ahead, you’ll not only learn when to use Ms. vs. Mrs. vs. Miss, but you’ll also understand why these titles matter.

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What does Ms. mean?

Ms. is simply a title for women. Specifically, it’s the title used to address a woman without referring to her marital status.

Despite the period at the end, Ms. is not an abbreviation for anything. The period is simply there to indicate that it is a valid title for adults, like Mr. or Mrs.

What does Miss mean?

Miss, used to address all the single ladies, stands on its own as a word, albeit an old-fashioned one that’s most often applied to children or very young women nowadays.

While it’s still used extensively in some regions and cultures, you won’t hear it quite as often in professional settings. Calling an unmarried woman “Miss” in the workplace can come off as infantilizing.

What does Mrs. mean?

“ms.” Vs. “mrs.” Vs. “miss” What’s The Difference Gettyimages 2166336674CUNFEK/GETTY IMAGES

Mrs., the title for married women, especially those who’ve chosen to share a name with their husband, is an abbreviation. Both Miss and Mrs. are actually related to the word mistress, which was used to refer to all women.

Over time, the word gave rise to two titles, one used for married women and the other for unmarried ones. However, this didn’t leave much scope for preference, giving rise to the now-popular title Ms.

What is the history behind Ms. vs. Mrs. vs. Miss?

There’s a long history of Mrs. and Miss in the English language. As Merriam-Webster notes, Mrs. was first used in 1574, and Miss came into fashion in 1667. It’d take another two centuries before Ms. joined the lexicon.

Ms. was first proposed as a title in 1901. An article in the Springfield Sunday Republican advocated for the creation of a way to address a lady without bringing up her “domestic situation.” According to the article, the word was simple and easy to write, and “the person concerned can translate it properly according to circumstance.” Apparently, people were already saying “Mizz,” an intentional slurring-together of Miss and Mrs. for that very purpose. This was just the written form.

Considering the usefulness of the title, it’s a bit bizarre that Ms. didn’t gain widespread popularity among English-speakers until the 1980s, decades after it was first proposed. In this, as in so many things, we have our feminist foremothers to thank for another small step toward equality.

Ms. is a neutral yet respectful way to refer to women without somehow bringing men into their identity as individuals. After all, men get to be Mr. from babyhood onward, and nothing changes whether they marry or not. With the advent of Ms., women are afforded the same privilege of individuality.

These days, Ms. is increasingly used by women of all ages, no matter their domestic situation.

When should you use Ms., Miss and Mrs.?

Even with all the information, it can get tricky to decide which title to use while addressing a woman. When in doubt, always stick to Ms., especially when you’re in unfamiliar or formal settings. Ms. also doesn’t point to a particular age or marital status like Miss or Mrs., making it the most inclusive title among the three, regardless of context. Use Ms. with the first or last name of the person you want to address, as in “Please come in, Ms. Jones.”

However, there are still some situations when Miss or Mrs. may be the favored choice.

Use Miss when:

  • You’re sure the woman prefers it.
  • You’re addressing a girl under 18 years of age.
  • It’s acceptable both culturally and socially in the situation.

Place the title before the girl/woman’s first or last name, as in “Welcome, Miss Rogers.”

You could also use it on its own to address the girl/woman if you don’t know her first or last name à la “Excuse me, Miss.” This is less common today, however.

Use Mrs. when:

  • You know the woman wants to be addressed that way.
  • You’re talking to a married woman who’s taken her spouse’s surname.
  • It’s a formal setting, and you know the woman is married.
  • It’s in line with what is traditionally accepted.

Though not as frequently used, especially in professional settings, Mrs. is acceptable before a woman’s husband’s first or last name, depending on her preference. However, it’s better to use the title with the last name of the woman, as in “Mrs. Sparks is leading the meeting with the board today.”

Remember that some married women who keep their maiden names do like to use Mrs., while others like to use Ms. This is again a matter of personal choice.

How should you use Mx.?

A fourth title, Mx., is also slowly becoming popular as a gender-neutral honorific. While it isn’t used by and for women exclusively, it is often preferred by those who don’t want to be identified by gender or those who don’t identify with a gender. It’s also more common in official U.K. documentation like bank forms and driver’s licenses.

Mx.’s first appearance dates all the way back to a 1977 issue of an American magazine called Single Parent. While there are a couple of instances of it in the New York Times, it isn’t very popular in the U.S. yet.

Overall, the increasing preference for Ms. confirms one thing: Women appreciate being recognized as individuals rather than by their marital status. Remember to keep all pointers in mind while using Ms. vs. Mrs. vs. Miss in the future.

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